Tired is the new status quo over here.
In the past four months, I can count on one hand the number of times I have slept for longer than two hours at a time before being awoken for one reason (a baby who hasn’t quite figured nighttime sleep out yet) or another (the three-year-old who forgets how to cover herself up with her blanket in the middle of the night).
You might think I’m exaggerating for effect, but Jake can back me up on this one because he sleeps about as well as I do. And, if you need further evidence, you can reference the two pounds of coffee I buy every other week.
I know we’re not the only ones living in a constant state of exhaustion. I also know that the fact that we can attribute this exhaustion to our children is indeed something to be thankful for. Please know that I’m not complaining.
Rather, I’m trying to establish our baseline. It is an indisputable fact that Jake and I are tired pretty much all the time. And it can be frustrating to feel tired all the time.
(Sleep deprivation hardly brings out your best qualities, after all.)
Now, as you might remember, I’m trying to shift my perspective this year. To focus on letting the hard things change me instead of praying for the hard things to change.
So, in light of that, here’s what God had to say about my current state of exhaustion:
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.¹
He doesn’t promise me sleep, but He does promise rest for my soul.²
My physical body may be tired, but my soul doesn’t have to be.
That. That is something of hope when you’re dragging yourself out of bed for the fifth time in the middle of the night. When your alarm goes off two hours earlier than you wish it would. When you just. can’t. catch. up.
There’s hope. Always hope.
And, tonight I feel restored in knowing that exhaustion can’t touch things like joy or peace (to name a few). There is rest for my soul.
So that’s where I’m at. Tired but satisfied. Sleep-deprived but replenished. Exhausted but well-rested.
Wondering if I’ll ever sleep through the night again (of course I know I will. This is the part where I exaggerate for effect.) but also feeling rejuvenated because I’ve been promised a more important rest.
The most important rest.
And hopefully that’s what I’ll remind myself of when I reach for that third cup of coffee tomorrow.
¹ Jeremiah 31:25
² Matthew 11:28-29